– “10 Objects Around Your House That Are Actually Just Tilda Swinton Getting Lost in a Role” (McSweeneys)
-“‘Twas the Night Before Christmas, O Fuck We Have Mice” (Yale Record)
-“Charger Cable With Sparks Shooting Out Of It May Need To Be Replaced at Some Point” (Hard Drive)
-“FBI Whistleblower Says Aliens Exist and Also There’s a Worm Man” (Hard Drive)
-“AI Perpetuates Unrealistic Standard Of How Weird A Woman’s Hands Should Look” (Hard Drive)
-“Apple Vision Pro Is Changing The Way Americans Die In A Tesla” (Hard Drive)
-“All The Boxers From Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out Ranked By How Annoying It Would Be To Repossess Their Car” (Hard Drive)
-“Aliens Not Only Built the Pyramids, But They Also Committed That Murder I’ve Been Accused Of” (Points In Case) *
*Written with Clip Show Comedy – Headline By Myles Hewette